The Dark Passenger

I take the last drag off my cigarette, laying in bed. It's one of the hottest nights of the summer, the air conditioner isn't working. I'm laying in bed wearing next to nothing, with the window opened, using the oscillating fan. I'm trying everything I can to cool off. Being on the second floor, I'm not concerned to sleep with the window open. A very light breeze occasionally grants little assistance cooling me off. I'm so tired and hot, in between awake and asleep. I'm laying on my belly, eyes closed listening to the fan. Then it happens. I feel a coolness come over my whole body, gentle breath on the back of my neck. I hear a subtle whisper "Thank You". Then a piercing sharp pain in my neck, fingers running through my hair, pressing my head further back. Hair brushing over the back of my neck. Gripping my side, squeezing and pushing me down harder into the bed. What is going on? I feel her body pressed over mine, she's not hurting me, I'm actually getting aroused with every moment. Fingers pawing my body. She's drinking the life from me, but it seems as though she's taking her time with me. Is she going to kill me? I'm starting to feel intoxicated as she's drinking me to the brink of death. Then without warning, she pulls her fangs out of me and whispers "I can kill you, let you live, or you can become like me". I whimper "Let me live". Then in a flash she's gone. I wake to my alarm going off and it's 6am. Was I dreaming, did I have a sadistic dream of death? I go to the mirror and there it is, punctures in my neck with dried blood. I feel weak. I stumble backwards onto my bed. I wake again with loud banging coming from the door, yelling for me to answer. I grab my robe, cover up making sure I cover my neck. I answer the door and it's my friend and coworker Beth. She's looking at me with concern, "Are you alright?" She asks. Before I can answer, she says "I've been calling you for hours", I glance at the clock, crap I missed work. I tell her "yea, I just don't feel very good".

She's me

I am so fucking tired pretending to be someone I'm not. You don't know me, nor do you really care. Guess what, I don't lose sleep over your false pretenses. I am good and evil, my demons run deep and the angel's subtle whispers keep me on the brink of sanity.

I am done playing tap dance with the fiddler, I am ready to toe the line I believe in and will only cross the damned bridge once I've paid the piper her due first.

The price can be steep if I don't haggle, but then again I've been haggling for a while now and seems she only gives in when there is pain shared. These shackles are tight and I am feeling the time is nigh and if I don't break free and do what needs to be done, I will lose all that's left of me. She waits in the shadows for my weakness and will pounce. I must stay aware of her presence.

Fuck you! I am done!!! I will slay your pied piper ass and dance on your guts spilled out on that bridge to salvation. She is beautiful and has captivated my being, the beauty of her insides dripping off my fingers. I taste her and now understand she wasn't the pied piper but she was me, the good me trying to stop the monster in me. I am now doomed to never truly know love's touch.

FUCK YOU!!! I will resurrect the good in me, somehow.